Some perspective required

Permit me to try and entertain you for the next, .. Oh, however long it takes you read this. This is going to be the literary equivalent of a magic show. There will be things you see, that you can’t comprehend, things that befuddle and amaze you. You will find yourself knocked back into your chair saying; “oh no you d’in”. What I will be performing for your reading pleasure today, is an old sleight of hand trick, oops.., did I say trick? I meant magic (trick). Do not be alarmed by anything you feel or read, while this intended to be all kinds of delicious, there will appear to be a diabolical bend to the proceedings that might be hard for the weak minded to stomach. You are allowed to stand and applaud but you can’t touch the props or ask how it was done. There are trade secrets involved here, skills acquired from spending countless hours at the bar; and you have view only rights. Please do not attempt this at home and If had any small print I would read it to you or at least I would have encouraged you to read it before you proceed any further. In the absence of this, permit me to quote you some Latin instead, “Stultorum infinitus est numerous”. Certain aspects of this will make you angry and but it is also funny, so that kind of balances it out beautifully. Yes since this was intended for matured audiences only, you have to be over the age of 18 to swim in these murky waters. Please be aware that while this is age neutral material, age appropriateness’ is subject to the intended proper use of this material. The objectivity of the writer cannot be relied on or determined beforehand. Please remain seated throughout, turn off your cell phones and try to concentrate on the action on the page. I intend to proceed very quickly and will not be stopping to accommodate you slow pokes out there. This is strictly intended for the nimble minded; if you find yourself tuning out at any point, recognize that was the point where the script evolved past your level. Now on to the show, I need you to lean forward slightly,… closer, …closer still, until your nose is almost touching the monitor, hold it there for two minutes. Now skip to the bottom of this page and continue.

There, did you feel foolish doing that? You certainly looked very foolish sitting there with your face pressed up against the computer screen. Hopefully nobody walked by and saw you doing that or they would think you were “LOSING IT”.  Well as promised it was a trick and you might not be too happy but you were warned beforehand. A small practical lesson on blindly following instructions, always ask why. Oh, and that Latin quote from earlier; it means “Infinite is the number of fools”. 

Edu Nnadi