ABJ

The plane dipped it’s wings around the hill and there it was, Abuja. It was still a growing little city with neither the sound and fury of Lagos nor the aggressive determination and hustle of Onitsha. Unique in its sense of self importance, it has grown considerably from its modest origins in a few amazingly short years. It has a culture that is entirely its own. In as much as Abuja believes its own inherent transformative powers, it still in awe of Lagos and that rare breed of indestructible humanity called Lagosians.

Few things make life more interesting than the unpredictability of sudden fabulous wealth, therein lies the entire premise of life in Abuja, you could go so far as to say that most people in the city live be the singular belief “anything can happen”.

Everybody believes that they are just one contract away from making into the big time, in a town where the 90% of the commerce is driven by government expenditure, it not inconceivable that a hard working hustler can go from zero to “I don hammer!” if they luck into the right government contract or become friends with people who are friends to people with the right contacts. Everybody believes; hopes springs eternal in this city. The only stories worth telling are legends of Titans whose empires seemingly sprung up over night. The myth of overnight success is a main stay here, it is what drives Abuja, here today, stinking rich tomorrow, baby.

Love the night life here though, there is nothing quite like eating a whole F*#&ing fish by yourself, it is just ridiculous the amount of time spent drinking beer, slurping goat head and generally living like chiefs. Yes, life here is one long display of conspicuous consumption after another. It is almost as if the primary aim each day is to lay waste to as much money as possible, probably in the mistaken assumption that somehow it will translate into respect; but then again, who is to say that it does not translate into envy?

There is an unspoken code to the wanton spending, roughly translated it would read something like “ I can spend like a crazy person all I want but please do not take me or my irrational binge behavior for granted”. The strength of relationships in Abuja is often based on the fact that people take everything at face value, there is neither the desire nor the inclination to delve deeper. Most times the “Efeezy” is all that matters, If you are spending recklessly it must be because you have it in excess, but somehow can’t possibly be true when everybody spends lavishly, all the time in ABJ.

Tangentially , how many people really have made it anyway? Americans have a saying “fake it, till you make it” Abuja has a lot of faking it, there is nothing wrong with admitting you are not there yet, but in a town where everybody wants to belong, few would admit to bellyaches even as the
grueling from their stomachs alerts the world to the true state of their finances. The culture of Oga this, Oga that, is so pervasive, everybody wants to be a movie star (i am using movie star as a euphemism for wealth) but nobody wants to be seen sweating to make it. Corruption is endemic in everything that is done in Abuja, every contract issued has kickbacks built into it, every service is overcharged but it is, what it is, a golden faux promise, still a growing city.