Bose: What are you looking at?
Jide: You na!
Bose: And why is that?
Jide: Because I like you na!
Bose: "Like ko', like ni". You this useless boy, won’t you go and find you level?
Jide: Please i am Sorry, I go mind business from now on.
Five Minutes Later
Amaka walks in and sits on the other side of Jide. He promptly starts staring in her direction.
Amaka: Jide, what is it?
Jide: You look so lovely this morning. I would love to take you out to lunch later.
Bose, jumps into the conversation: You this useless boy, now you want to take her out to lunch, five minutes ago you liked me.
Amaka: Jide, is this true?
Jide: You know, there is no pleasing you Bose. She said she does not want, yet she won’t let anyone esle take. Maybe it is because I did not ask her out to lunch.
Bose: Even if you asked me, I will not go with the likes of you.
Jide: Ok then, in that case please stop burning my cable. You do not want to be buried with the dead body yet you keep throwing yourself on the coffin.
Amaka giggling: Jide, ha, you are too funny.
Bose hisses turns, faces the other direction: Of course you will think he is “too funny” Ashewo.
Amaka: Eh? What did you just call me?
Bose: You heard me, “Ashewo”, “follow follow” “anything goes” “open yansh policy”, take your pick.
Amaka, gets up furiously, begins to tie her scarf around her waist: “Chineke kpo gi oku” "Amaze Oha finish your life", look at this worthless person calling me names? Can you believe the guts? She asks no one in particular.
Amaka: Listen to me very carefully. If you do not want me to expose you here & now, you better apologize or do you think everybody does not know you are an illegitimate child?
There was an audible gasp in the classroom, then a stunned silence. Bose’s eyes begin to well up, she gets up slowly…
Bose: What.., what did you just say? stammerring.
Amaka: YOU ARE A BASTARD, abi you no know? I can educate you.
Jide: Omo, this thing has gotten out of hand very quickly oh.
Gbenga: What did you say? I think sey you be master toaster? Do you see what you have caused?
Jibe: Gbenga this is all my fault, I have learned a valuable lesson here today.
Gbenga: And what lesson is that? He asks sarcastically.
Jibe: Never hit on Bose first. he says matter of factly.
Gbenga, incredulous: You are still talking about hitting on people, what type of animal are you?
Jide: What do you mean animal? If Bose had not cupped an attitude none of this would have happened.
Jide: Amaka, what time should I come get you for the lunch?
Life as it happens
Nov 18, 2010
Nov 11, 2010
iWriter Needed.
I find that I don’t write as much as I used to anymore, which is unfortunate because I think that ultimately this is what I was called do. The ease with which one can start a multimedia publication online dictates that if I am ever to “take my talents to south beach” this is a forum from which it could happen. There was various reasons for my recent run of “nothingness”, the chief of which is that I am completely bored by the process. The mental energy needed to create a story or an article of interest is of course mostly an artistic one but the science in the process dictates that if my aim is to generate a steady volume of work then i must have a formula. There has to be a method to the madness, otherwise all that is left just the madness. I find that the method bores me. Also, there is what I would describe as a veneer of laziness that also plays a part here. At the moment I write for fun, it is nothing more than a hobby, an unpaid labor of love, maybe even a vanity project (like any other artist, I live for the applause), but the aforementioned veneer covers all my efforts like a thick wet blanket and some days resistance has been very futile. Two hundred and twenty three words in, I bet you are wondering, em.., ok, so? I understand but bear with me, I will get to the point of this missive in a minute but first indulge me. I don’t get a chance to rant too often.
Now back to the reason for my furious typing, I have not been on Facebook recently as often as I used to but in returning to it, I have noticed a marked change in the content and comments folks are posting. In reading through, I realized that it is possible that people are not very cognizant of the amount of personal information that they are sharing with “friends”. Hey, I am not be a psychologist, sociologist, and any other kind of “ologist”, so I will refrain from trying to ascribe kitchen table generalizations and / or labels to the various status updates, side comments and cell phone self portraits from the resident photogs (by the way, is that the correct word? Should that word not be fotogs? But I digress). But it is hard not make assumptions based on the way people present themselves online. “ Judge not and you will not be judged”. Ok, sure.., so I will not judge. But still.., really? The easiest joke to write is the one that depicts others in a negative light; I think most people are filled with sanctimonious BS, the writer included. The ability to see ourselves as others see us is one that most of us just do not have. Educated people sometimes call this ability as being self-aware, however my experience has been that it is a thin line between self-awareness and low self esteem. Anyway, I assume that my updates are equally as illuminating to others, I probably have “friends” that routinely question my sanity. Thus my conclusion that yes it is true, we are all lame. The relative difference between us is only a question of degree. Which brings me full circle to the question of judging.
My dilemma is that as a writer without any true scope, area of expertise or even a defined audience I am constantly in search of a topic. The low hanging fruit exists right here, on Facebook. With all the updates, pictures and links, my missives could virtually write themselves. I have written things I regretted before, not because anyone said anything to me but because I intuitively suspected that I had crossed a line in the sand. I am not looking to repeat those experiences again and as such your posts are safe from my nagging, critical, conspiracy inspired, morbidly inquisitive, jaundiced eye. My plan is to take off this wet blanket, my problem is that everything is wet already and thus it maks no difference one way or another.
Now back to the reason for my furious typing, I have not been on Facebook recently as often as I used to but in returning to it, I have noticed a marked change in the content and comments folks are posting. In reading through, I realized that it is possible that people are not very cognizant of the amount of personal information that they are sharing with “friends”. Hey, I am not be a psychologist, sociologist, and any other kind of “ologist”, so I will refrain from trying to ascribe kitchen table generalizations and / or labels to the various status updates, side comments and cell phone self portraits from the resident photogs (by the way, is that the correct word? Should that word not be fotogs? But I digress). But it is hard not make assumptions based on the way people present themselves online. “ Judge not and you will not be judged”. Ok, sure.., so I will not judge. But still.., really? The easiest joke to write is the one that depicts others in a negative light; I think most people are filled with sanctimonious BS, the writer included. The ability to see ourselves as others see us is one that most of us just do not have. Educated people sometimes call this ability as being self-aware, however my experience has been that it is a thin line between self-awareness and low self esteem. Anyway, I assume that my updates are equally as illuminating to others, I probably have “friends” that routinely question my sanity. Thus my conclusion that yes it is true, we are all lame. The relative difference between us is only a question of degree. Which brings me full circle to the question of judging.
My dilemma is that as a writer without any true scope, area of expertise or even a defined audience I am constantly in search of a topic. The low hanging fruit exists right here, on Facebook. With all the updates, pictures and links, my missives could virtually write themselves. I have written things I regretted before, not because anyone said anything to me but because I intuitively suspected that I had crossed a line in the sand. I am not looking to repeat those experiences again and as such your posts are safe from my nagging, critical, conspiracy inspired, morbidly inquisitive, jaundiced eye. My plan is to take off this wet blanket, my problem is that everything is wet already and thus it maks no difference one way or another.
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