Sometimes i feel like a nut.

I recognize that I have a huge problem, I am not a phone person. I cannot count how many calls I have avoided, the worst part is that most times there is no good reason not to take the call. Thinking about the situation recently, I started to examine my problem very closely and I began to see certain patterns emerge, and things began to make some sense. It was not the calls that I was afraid of, it was the consequences of the calls.


Most people I know will call when they are the airport, or when they are about to hit the highway on an 8-hour journey. You pick up the phone and they are like; “Edu boy! wetin they happen? I am on my way to Alaska, na him I sey make I call you make we gist small”. I immediately begin to panic! You see I am not good with cutting people off, since the person calling you has nothing but time on their hands, I could be on the call until they get to Alaska.

Then there are those calls (even with good friends) where the conversation just dies a premature death, you start out very eagerly, quickly rushing from one breathless update to the next and then out of nowhere a dry spell hits, there is a lot if em....yeah...., so what's up...., ….you just dey enjoy..... followed by long uncomfortable silences, mixed in with heavy breathing. Nobody knows how to end the torture, everybody is ashamed of stating the obvious, this call is finished.

Phones follow you everywhere these days, even to places where it should not, like the bedroom and to board meetings. The relative convenience of being reachable has turned into a heavy burden of proof problem. People see you and there is this accusatory tone to their voice, "Dude, I called you and you did not pick up" why don't you ever answer your phone?" Feeling like a naughty student at the principle's office, I stand there sheepishly staring at the floor, doing my best to explain why I did not answer the royal summons. This is a problem my parents did not have to encounter because their phone were tied to their houses and offices. Although on the plus side I could be at home, doing nothing but chilling and somebody that I had earlier promised to help move would call and I would be like "Man, sorry I forgot, ... yes I am currently in Lagos, I will talk to you when I get back... you see; problem solved.

The situation is such that even routine calls make me worry these days. You see, if my phone flashes and my boss is calling me, I don’t like it, there is not reason why that man should be calling me, I am not his friend, so except I have been fired that number should not be showing on my phone on a Sunday. If my friend is calling, I begin to worry, it is either because he needs something or I owe him something, either way there is no reason why he should be calling me on Sunday. If my madam is calling, I breakout in a cold sweat, I cannot see what is so important she has to calling me at 2.00 AM on Saturday night when I am in the office working.