Tired Of The Excuses

Sometimes, I go back to read stuff I had written before, old blog posts, articles, responses to other peoples blogs, that type of thing. The idea being to get a sense of my state of mind at the time and to see if I my perception of whatever it was I was trying to say at the time has changed. Sometimes, I find that my view has moved on from my previous positions and that what once were strongly held beliefs, are now loosely embraced ideas. The general premise of the original post may still hold true but the underlying emotion I would find to have sometimes suffered significant drift. But by far the worse thing about my old stuff, were the God damned TYPOS! They were everywhere, embarrassing, cringe inducing, headshaking, “I wonder where this guy got his education” type, typos. The origin of the problem is of course, known to me; I am a “Hunter Pecker”, be it a fast hunter pecker but a pecker all the same. I stare down the keyboard when I type, I hunt down each individual letter and sometimes can jam out a whole paragraph while barely getting a look at the monitor. The worst part is that I do not have any particular type of mistake that I commit consistently, I generally seem to hit all the high notes (all the “don’ts”) in any given piece of writing. On any given post, I would do my best to appear as poorly equipt (I guess the word here should really should be Mis-educated :-) ) as possible. I commit errors of omission, leaving out entire words in a torrid stream of rushing sentences that barely connect and only serve to tell the reader that I need either better glasses or need to start writing strictly in Igbo. I commit errors of addition, I use the wrong tenses, incorrect verbs and adjectives litter just about every piece I have ever written. In my head I am thinking the word “there” on the screen I am typing “their” and the whole thing is compounded by Microsoft Words automated error correcting software. So while I plow on ahead trying to get to the end of my rapidly evaporating thoughts, the software is busy correcting my errors into even more grammatically inconsistent gibberish that ends up leaving the reader bewildered, thinking this guy really must stop drinking and writing.
So you would ask, after spotting these dramatically wild half sentences or phrases that seem to have been put together by Kokolet; sentences like “ .. starts to knock on the window, asking you to winding down the window” or even “ …which funnily enough was staged by a group of a delusional nationalist group of southern soldiers…” why don’t i make the necessary corrections and move on? Because it would be dishonest and the truth is that no matter what I change, I can’t make anyone that read the initial post, unread it. So after much thought I have decided to invest in a Spanish to English dictionary to brush up on my vocabulary, I will be re-enrolling in the free English for Indigenous Tribes classes at the local community college and lastly I am purchasing a typing for beginners and other slow learners software program that will teach me to type the proper way. Hopefully in a few months I will be able to complete a few lines without completely rendering the reader brain dead. In the meantime I apologize for any previous or current occurrence of random shelling you might have endured from my misguided attempt at blogging. Now that I have gotten that off my chest, i can now go back to misunder representing educated Nigerians on the internet, God help us all.