One Suitcase, Three Days, Four Airports.

I hate airports, sorry, I need to clarify that, I hate the needless expense that is spending time at airports. I recently had to do a four cities in three days trip. As you can imagine an unnecessarily large part of those three days was spent at one airport or the other. Interestingly there is a certain symmetry to most airports, the ones in the small cities are quiet almost serene, regardless of the amount of air traffic, while the airports in the bigger cities are rather rowdy and the passengers a little more obnoxious. As to my trip itself, it was relatively unremarkable but at some point I started to pay close attention to my surroundings, that is when things got rather interesting.
Airports – Local airports are like train stations, unremarkable, the seats are kind of the same, the restrooms dangerous, and the food expensive. But I did notice in Atlanta the sheer size of the place and the volume of people coming through was enormous. Milwaukee was almost eerily quiet, and yet the search guys there were the most enthusiastic, like people that would very much love to give you a thorough cavities search. Memphis has this fantastic smell of barbecued meat in the air (might have been that the gate I used was located right next to the restaurant) and has this beautiful rotunda with a blue glass ceiling.
The search at the airport – One word, embarrassing. If like me, your last name is almost Arabic sounding, you are getting the business. Make sure your undershirt is clean because that jacket is coming off, the stripping does get tiresome after a while and keeping your sense of humor is hard. Get angry and you might be asked to “please, step aside” and you do not want that to happen. They put everything I had through the X-ray machine, they almost put me in the machine. They searched my computer case, tested the computer. Please do not carry any cosmetics in your over night bag if you intend to leave the airport the same day, someone took a shower with my shower gel, even used my body lotion to make sure it was not a bomb. These guys were ruthlessly efficient but all the same, it was very time consuming. Forgo, hand luggage and getting in and out of the local airport is not so bad.
Flying – Is it my mind or do the smaller planes fly with less turbulence? On the flight to Memphis, I was stuck in the middle of two large guys. Miserable will not begin to describe the next three hours, the flight was packed, so there were no empty seats. The guy to my right had a belly like a drum, his gut spilled over the divide, shoving my elbow off the armrest. While the guy to my left snored like a man playing the trombone with plenty of power but no skill. If you are in a hurry, carrying all you luggage as a carry on, you will appreciate the time saved not waiting for your turn at the baggage claim. The only problem is finding space for your luggage in the overhead bin is a hassle especially if you are one the last to get on the plane. If it is too big and does not fit in the bin, you are going to have to find space for it, most likely under your leg between two large guys.
Things I noticed – That people that work at the airport all seem somewhat proud of the fact, the guy serving cheesy pretzels has an attitude, no biggie but worth noting. There is a certain amount of grim determination amongst the passengers, almost like the travel is a chore they have to conclude. Unlike international departure lounges where some passengers seem to be walking on air, the lack of joy around the local section of the airport is palpable. I have a problem with the practice of shining shoes while the owner of the shoes is still wearing them. I find it servile and somewhat degrading, there is nothing wrong with getting your shoes shined but why can’t you take it off first? Why must someone knee at your feet for a $5 service?
Nedu Nnadi