The Child.

There is a loneliness to being an adult that childhood does not prepare anyone for. The sobering cold reality of adulthood comes usually in the quiet of the night, when the music has stopped playing, the friends are gone, the TV is off and the mind is on. That is when you realize that all you truly own in this world is beating in your chest and the only true achievement in life is the impact you have in the life of the people that stay on after you are gone.

The dream of independence that fuelled most childhood rebellions juxtapose badly when compared with the personal and total isolation that is grown-up decision making. If you had to do it again, I bet you would have nestled more and fought less. I remember chaffing at the power that older folk seems to have over me, not one day dreaming that I would myself become one of them, the lessons they tried to teach me washed off me like water down a duck’s back, it irritated rather than inspired and as a consequence, I conducted my affairs in a childhood cocoon, blissful to the cold realities of life without the support pillars built in. The truth is I acted a fool, if I did not get one hundred percent attention I assumed it was because they did not care. My mistakes were often erased behind my back so I never had to go back and redo them. My struggles came pre-chewed, softened, so I did not realize the true depth of effort that it took to achieve some of the things I took for granted.

As you look at your children do you see yourself in their innocence or the unshakeable obligation and responsibility that they represent? In their childish resentment for your authority I know they are not thinking about your sacrifices. In retrospect I acknowledge that there is nothing more self centered than the human child but nothing in this world will bring you greater joy than their success and happiness. I just wish I had known all this as a child, i would not have given so much grief, to so many, for so long.

Edu Nnadi