What do you believe?

Relax; I am here to seek enlightenment, not to pontificate. To ask questions that always bothered me, not to cast shadows over your beliefs. I have friends that are saved, people with strong feels about their faith and its place in their lives but I have always wondered, what does it all mean in the end? I am not sure what I believe or not (I know, I could have written that differently but try to stay focused). I know that as soon as man was able to process cognitive thoughts he started to ask questions about his place in the big scheme of things. Christians believe what they believe and there are about one billion Moslems that will beg to differ, so assuming everybody is right to a degree where does that leave God? Somewhere today a deeply religious person probably passed away but tonight another deeply religious person will pray, “Thank you God for sparing me and my family”. Is the prayer not really saying “better him than me”? We read in the papers everyday where another Iraqi family was decimated by an errant missile and we casually flip over to the next page, and I know it is not because you don’t care or that you don’t wish them well. I am conflicted as to what is I believe, blind faith like the type a child has for the mother regardless of whether or not she is an irresponsible mother or a drug addict has been hard for me to accept. I used to pray and I believed all my prayers were answered, but that had nothing to do with anything. I know some pretty awful people who have been blessed with even more good fortune, so obviously they must be praying too.Am I asking for too much to want to know the why, when and how? Shouldn’t I just wrap religious rituals (for Christians, Sunday church and mid-week worship and for Moslems the five daily prayers) around myself like a warm blanket and assume I am protected from the chill of an aimless existence. Somehow, I think most people are not much concerned with finding the right way, just as long as it is their way, Moslems are right, Christians are right, same goes for Hindus, Buddhists AND EVERYONE ELSE. Maybe what I asking is, even if there isn’t a divine design to the affairs of man, don’t we have to believe that there is one anyway to keep us from being even more inhuman to one another? Seriously, if you have a plausible way of looking at this, I would like to hear it.

Man and Romance

I was forwarded this note by the friend of a friend, thought it was nice, decided to share.

Through out the age of man the art of courtship has changed drastically. Back in prehistoric times, man would see the woman of his dream, bring her an animal carcass then club her in the head while she was distracted. He then would drag her unconscious (and possibly brain damaged) body back to his cave for some sweet “caveman lovin”. In biblical times men would have to work for the father of his future bride, sometime for years even. Beautiful, just beautiful. With technology constantly changing and spoiling us, people have grown to be lazy. No more thrill of the hunt. No more challenge. No more going out and slipping some hot chick the date rape pill. Lazy people are now relying on the internet dating services. Some pathetic souls have even lowered themselves to placing an ad on Craig’s list…my friend got his 72 inch flat screen TV from there. Some people have even tried to justify themselves to me by saying “it’s hard finding a companion out there. I can’t seem to find anyone out there that’s decent.” So you chose to post an ad in the same place where people can buy a use toilet… good job. You know what kind of people circle around these websites; child molesters, rapists, stalkers, and R. Kelly. For those of you that say there’s just no one out there for you, here’s a list people who are not very good looking but found love:Hitler had a fiancée, Mimi Reiter, as well as a mistress, Eva Braun.Pamela Anderson also found love… and she’s a walking STD!Seal… have you seen his face? The man has more craters then the moon. Kiss from a rose? More like a kiss from a rhino’s ass!C’mon, if Marc Anthony can get Jennifer Lopez, there’s hope for you too. I mean the man does look like a cracked out Jimmy Smits. Quit living in the land of make-believe by saying “I’m waiting for the one of my dreams.” Point being, get off your ass make yourself presentable and begin your quest. And don't forget to lower your expectations.

The Audacity Of Hope.

There are very few events in your life were you remember exactly where you were at the exact time it happened, I have been fortunate enough to experience two of them. The first was September 11th 2001, at about 9.00 AM, I was coming off the E train from Queens, my stop was the Times Square station on 42nd and 7th, I was late and in a hurry to get to work, but on that day there would be no work. The whole of New York City appeared to be transfixed watching the giant TV screens surrounding Times Square, I made to ask the guy next to me what was going on, but before I could say a word, the second plane came into view of the cameras and we all watched, transfixed, as the plane flew straight into the second tower of the World Trade Center, there was a loud gasp as if a million people collective sucked in air, then a quietness (not silence but a stillness, like church) for a nano second it was like the world stopped, and then all hell broke loose. I write this not to revisit 9/11 but to explain how engraved the details of that day are in my mind, I could write a book of the events of that day alone, from the glassy eyed look in peoples eyes, to the wild rumors spreading like forest fire about alien invasions, even the trek out of New York City that day was epic. But I am getting side tracked; the second time was of course last night.
The unfathomable event that unfolded last night, will carryover into the lives of generations yet to come. That the black grandson of a goat herder from Kenya, raised by a single white mother on public funds without the “proper” connections could compete and prevail against historic odds is a story of biblical proportions. The is a uniquely American story, those of us from Nigeria know this intimately, it could not happen were we are from. In Nigeria, the same ruling class of has more or less held the country hostage for almost half a century, the chances that a “nobody” will rise out of the dirt without the aid of machine guns and flak jackets to preside over the affairs of our nation is slim to none. The euphoric joy that was felt around the world (My Mother is a Obama fan and for the past few months it’s been Obama this, Obama that, the woman lives in Kaduna and has not been to the States since 1992.) resonated in my house, I have not slept a wink, I will one day tell my children about the greatest election of my generation and the belief that it installed in me, that I hope I will be successful in passing on to them, Yes we can, Yes we can

A Satirical Journey In False Positives.

McCain 08, set out on a mission to win the presidency of the United States.


He chose his theme.


He tried to cut ties with outside influences.



He had his fans.

His plan was to poach some votes from the other guy's base. He chose his running mate carefully.

Initially his base was not too enthused about his candidacy.


But eventually they came around.
Then they took over.


























He made his priorities known.


Showed off his foreign Policy credentials

He lived up to maverick credentials.

Even the press had a hard time keeping up with him
He talked about the corrupting influence of money in politics.

Even when he changed his mind, he made sure everybody knew he was for his old position but he was against.

Then came the debates, where he aggressively tackled the issues.

When the polls suggested he was falling behind, he made some tactical adjustments.

All the twisting and turning meant that he sometimes.....

He tried to get his message on the economy to the people, but his message was distorted.

He resolved to go it alone if neccesary. He refuses to be intimidated.

Even though everyone thinks it is over, he soldiers on.

Nedu, 09.

All Might Dollar

Rough estimates puts the value of all the gold in the world at about 2 trillion dollars, since a majority of the world's currencies is backed by gold (to a degree), that means that there is a substantial disconnect between that figure and the GDP of the world which was estimated at 65 trillion dollars in 2006. Where did all the extra trillions come from? A crate of eggs is only worth however much the market is willing to pay for it. In the 1900s, a dozen eggs sold of $.23; today a dozen eggs cost about $4.00. What happened? Is the chicken demanding more money of her eggs?

While it is true that as the world's population grew, income and opportunity grow with it, the fundamental underlying factors remained the same. If you sold everything, you own today, how much are you worth? $1K, $10K, $100K or even a million Dollars? Whatever that number is, ask yourself this question, what exactly is a Dollar? It still takes the same effort to hoe a row of yams today that it took in 1960, then why are we paying more for the Labor today? If it truly were up to demand and supply, would the price of labor not be going down instead of up? The world has at least 10 times more available, trainable labor today than it had in the nineteenth century. Yet we are all earning more money than our forefathers could have ever dreamed of, doing virtually the same work. I would understand if this change in relative wealth was only happening in the US or China or even Nigeria but it is going on all over the world at the same time! If we are all stealing from each other, then why are we all getting rich? Where in God's name is the money coming from? This defies all the laws of commerce, we can't all be trading with each other and everybody is getting richer, somebody has to lose for the other to gain otherwise something is most definitely off kilter.

John D Rockefeller and William H. Vanderbilt were probably the richest men in the history of the world ever! Neither of them ever made a billion dollars in their lifetimes, yet Forbes.Com this year listed 1062 men and women with a net worth of at least one billion dollars, what could have happened to create so much wealth, in such a short time? If you have, $1000.00 and i have a tuber of yam, which is more valuable? My yam has actual value and can fulfill a need, with your dollar I have to agree that it is worth something to me, for it to be valuable.

Maurice Greenberg was the 135th wealthiest American in 2007. His net worth was $2.8 billion. He was a former chairman of AIG. He recently sold 5 million shares for $3.77 per share, now he is just another millionaire. So was he really worth a billion dollars? or Was it our inflated valuation of his assets that was distorted? The point here is that we have taken to creating monopoly money that is not backed an actual product, resource or service. Welcome to the derivatives culture, where if there is no demand, we create demand. Everybody is borrowing more, from everywhere, so that we can pay more, for everything. But where is all the extra money coming from? Idi Amin was famous for asking his Central Bank Governor to print more cash and I am afraid that in a roundabout way the world is paying him homage because everybody seems to be doing what he was doing all those years ago, wasting good paper.

Bushonomics & The Tickle Down Economic Disaster

Trickle-down economics" and "trickle-down theory," is the economic-political argument that the increases in the wealth of the rich are good for the poor because some of such additional wealth will eventually trickle down to the middle class and to the poor. At least that is what it says in Wikipedia, Karl Max had theories that made more sense. The only thing that has tickled down is bad debt, maxed out credit cards, stagflation in commodities and a recession in the housing industry. Instead of the Mullahs at the top to let anything tickle out, they papered over all the cracks to prevent any possible leakage. Smart CEOs made sure that unemployment tickled down by constantly laying off workers to improve efficiency. Hedge funds controlling trillions of dollars speculated with glee on oil and we all watched as the price of a barrel of crude climbed from $17.00 to $150.00 per, while the resultant increase in the cost of gas tickle down to the masses. This tickle down nonsense, seems curiously familiar to this Nigerian, I knew I had seen it somewhere before; but I was not sure where? An economic environment in which the ruling class and their well connected friends, initiated a plan to rob the treasury and pass the burden of repaying the mess on the country while they themselves swiftly proceeded to retire to a life of luxury and great wealth? OH MY GUSH, it is the same thing IBB and Uncle Segun were doing to Nigeria all these years. Turns out that greed and corrupt is universal; and was not invented in Africa contrary to what you might have heard.

So here we are, eight years into the most disastrous reign of ignorance, mismanagement and ineptitude, since the fall of the Holy Roman Empire, I can say with certainty that yes the hubris advanced by this culture's belief that “There is winning and then there is misery” has finally caught up with us. Despite the colossal failure that was the first four years of the bush administration (an administration that went to war just to juice up the economy), some bible touting, gay bashing, narrow minded, gun loving, right wing zealots masquerading as fiscally responsible conservatives decided that the first go around was so nice, that we had to have another go. So here we are, four more years later.

News You Might Have Missed.

• Taking things a little too far - Juju saga scares Akpabio from public functions - THE era of hand-shaking and embracing without discrimination or protocol appears over for Governor Godswill Akpabio of Akwa Ibom State. The governor put a freeze on free mixing with people at public functions following the recent revelation that the former Chairman of the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC), Ambassador Sam Edem allegedly used juju powers to harm him during a meeting between both of them.
• When Only Divine Intervention Will Do - Ekiti takes case to God - ASWARM of Action Congress (AC) members and sympathisers poured to the streets of Ado-Ekiti, the Ekiti State capital, yesterday to pray for divine intervention in the party’s battle to retrieve its "stolen mandate."They prayed for God’s favour on the appeal filed by the party at the Court of Appeal against the verdict of the Election Petitions Tribunal, which dismissed its petition challenging the declaration of Mr. Segun Oni as governor.”.
• How does he Manage? - Court orders prison authorities to produce man with 86 wives – “Federal High Court sitting in Abuja has ordered the Superintendent of Minna Prison to produce in court on October 27, this year, Alhaji Bello Masaba, the man with 86 wives who is challenging the power of the Bida Emirate Council to pass a sentence on him.”
• Criminal Justice - Armed thugs abduct female magistrate in Warri – “A GANG of eight armed thugs on Wednesday evening in Warri, Delta State abducted a female magistrate, 31-year-old Mrs. Emuobome J. Bazunu-Sokoh. Investigations by Vanguard showed that the kidnap of Magistrate Bazunu-Sokoh was allegedly sponsored by a female colleague in the state, who accused her and another friend of dating her husband.”

• Cement price to crash next month – Says God. “Nigerians have been assured that they will start to buy cheap cement by the end of next month.” - …..Riiiight.
• Disrespecting Your Elders - Daniel’s aides ‘feeding fat’ on rumour – “The Speaker, Ogun State House of Assembly, Mr.Tunji Egbetokun, has accused some aides of Governor Gbenga Daniel, of ‘feeding fat’ on the reports of impeachment plot against the governor. Egbetokun said this on Thursday in Owode, the headquarters of Obafemi/Owode Local Government Area. He did not spare the unnamed aides as he rained curses on them. Egbetokun wondered why it had become a child’s play to remove a state governor.”
• Beware Of Snake Oil Sales men - Dev in Anambra State is impressive —Russian Ambassador “The Russian Ambassador to Nigeria, His Excellency, Alexander Dmitrievich Polyakov, says that Russia attached great importance to Anambra State in the efforts, especially by Russian investors, towards investing in Nigeria, especially in the area of Gas. He said this yesterday when he paid a courtesy visit to the Governor of Anambra State.”
• Got check that email - Robbers raid Ilisan Cyber Café – “National Daily learnt that the robbers, numbering about five, who came in a Jeep around 8.00pm had first robbed a Cyber Café, owned by one of the children of the late politicians in the town”. “Contacted, the State Commissioner of Police, Mr. Solomon Olusegun confirmed the incident, saying, ''my men are frantically looking for the dare-devil armed bandits, who operated in the area and killed the Mopol, and the Okada rider.'’ Forgetting the ridiculousness of the of the state PC’s comments, this would have been funny, if it was not so tragic.
• The Passing Of a Great Man - Artist, others mourn ace broadcaster, Yinka Craig - Artists and well-wishers of the late ace broadcaster, Yinka Craig, have been pouring eulogies on the man who gave television broadcasting a new look. Craig died in a United States of America (USA) hospital from an ailment suspected to be Lymphoma, cancer of the immune system.
• If Cheap Milk Suddenly Appears In Lagos - 12 more arrested in China's tainted milk scandal - More than a 1,000 parents anxious over tainted milk powder on Thursday rushed their infants to hospitals for health checks as the government announced that a fourth baby had died in the spreading scandal. Meanwhile, regulators in Hong Kong ordered the recall of milk products from a Chinese dairy after finding the banned industrial chemical melamine in eight of 30 sample products tested. Police in Hebei province said they had arrested 12 more people Thursday, bringing the total to 18.
• Till Death Do Us Apart - Nigerians kill wives in America – “A report circulating among Nigerians resident abroad especially in London and America has revealed that some Nigerians who attribute frustration and maltreatment as reason have killed more than 20 of their wives in different parts of America thus giving the average Nigerian man resident in that country the image of a domestically violent person and a potential wife killer.”

Righteous indignation

Do you know any white people? Because I don’t. Largely ten years spent in the relative anonymity of quasi middle class America has thought me that only one truth is constant, blacks and whites live separate lives. We go to different churches, we worship differently, and we have different values while pursuing the same goals. We all aspire to a better life but differ strongly on our paths to that life, the generic certainty of suburban serenity will not be the lot of most inner city blacks. Where I can understand the fears of the average black person; poverty and random violence. I can’t really relate to fears of “keeping up with the Jones" and "Investing in the wrong 401K or IRA", when your present day is fret with immediate and present dangers you are less likely to be stowing away excess nuts in the eventuality of a long winter. Tragically, the farce that is race relations today is designed to guilt trip you into believing that all is well, after all we do have affirmative action and the civil rights bill to protect our constitutional rights. But you cannot legislate away prejudice, I can’t count how many times little white ladies jump back when I suddenly come around a corner despite the fact that majority of the perverse sexual misadventures visited on white women is by white males. I could vent on the hypocrisy of churches that supported segregation, then turned around and went on missionary trips to Africa to save the souls of the primitives in need of salvation. The religion is good enough for their souls but thier asses not good enough to seat in the same pews as a white person. According to a Justice Department report released in July 2003 about 10.4% of the entire African-American male population in the United States aged 25 to 29 was incarcerated, by far the largest racial or ethnic group—by comparison, 2.4% of Hispanic men and 1.2% of white men in that same age group were incarcerated. According to official data in 2000, there were 791,600 black men in prison and 603,032 enrolled in college. In 1980, there were 143,000 black men in prison and 463,700 enrolled in college. You see, the thing is that I know a lot of white people, we work together, go out together, root for the same teams and curse out the horrible economy and the evils of human indifference together. But I don’t consider them my friends, because of the same reasons people worry when they sight someone wearing a turban on a plane since 9/11, you just don’t know what their intentions are.

Divine Comedy

In the inferno, Dante noted that the words "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" was craved onto the walls of the gates of hell. I will not get pretentious and act like I have read the entire epic volume but I do find those words to be of particular interest and they seem to fit in nicely in so many places. I feel like the US economy has entered Dante’s circles of hell and the outlook is bleek and getting bleeker by the minute. The stock market is down 800 points in three days, while the news circle is squeaking on and on about Sarah Palin. Just looking at yahoo today you will find the following head lines;

• Hedge funds batten down the hatches in turbulence- Reuters
• IMF head: worst of financial crisis may lie ahead- Reuters
• SEC issues rules against abusive short sales- Reuters
• Housing construction drops 6.2 percent to 17-year low- AP
• Morgan Stanley shares plunge 40%, Goldman sinks 20%, HBOS in takeover talks- AP
• Oil prices up after crude supplies fall sharply- AP
• Regulators gauging other banks' interests in WaMu- AP
• Lehman unloads its banking divisions to Barclays- AP
• When All Else Failed: Govt. Bails Out AIG to Avoid Catastrophe- Tech Ticker

Somewhere in there, there are geniuses are at work.

Today in the papers

• White Magic – This BBC Africa report is about a 94-year-old white traditionalist high priestess of the Orisha worship from Oshogbo. I was particularly struck by portion where it said “In her early years in Nigeria she met Adjagemo, a high-priest of creator-God Obatala, who would become her mentor.” He took me by the hand and led me into the spirit world," Mrs. Wenger told a French documentary maker in 2005. "I did not speak Yoruba, and he did not speak English, our only intercourse was the language of the trees."
  Forgive my dirty mind but the combination; taken by the hand, led into the spirit, intercourse and trees made me wonder. The story is pretty engaging, please read it.
• 
  New national identity card scheme – Business day online reports the National Identity Management Commission (NIMC) is working on new national identity cards. The fact is this is an unsustainable misadventure in bureaucratic arrogance. Of all the definitions of the word scheme, two seem to be particularly pertinent, one: A scheme could be defined as a systematic and coherent arrangement of parts employed towards achieving a common goal. This would imply that somewhere in Nigeria there exists an organized body whose functions and goals are not colored by nepotism, self-aggrandizement, sectional bigotry and religious intolerance. This National ID card scheme will turn into another “census”, it would inevitable be the bases for revenue sharing and with it the introduction of money into the scheme, like blood in the water, it will attract sharks. The other definition that I thought was appropriate was “a secret and cunning plan, especially one designed to cause damage or harm”. Imagine how much easier it will be for fraudsters to manipulate such a database. How long will it be before someone is selling your information on EBay?
• 
  Funny - From the Daily champion comes the joke of the week, “Over 19 million persons with disabilities in Nigeria would soon smile as the Senate promised to give accelerated passage to a bill that would provide walk ways in public buildings and access to churches, mosque and streets specifically for the disabled.” This, in a country where only one bridge carries the entire weight of East West commerce. Funny how the senate can find time to pass frivolous laws while key infrastructures continue to face decay and neglect.
• 
  Parental Supervision – Lagos Weekend times reports that “A 35-year-old businessman, Ahmed Oresanya has told a Mushin Customary Court that he was seeking to divorce his wife of nine years at the prompting of his parents. Ahmed told the court that being the only child of his family; his parents had wanted him to divorce his wife Evelyn.” I wonder if it would have made a difference if he was the third child? Talk about living with the In-laws.
• 
  Still In the weekend times – This paper is such a delicious read, it is one of my guilty pleasures, you can find some remarkable off-beat stories tucked into all kinds of corners – Man, 60, arrested with 2 lorry loads of Cannabis and Suspect admits taking cannabis. First of all, why do they insist on calling it Cannabis instead of the more universal marijuana? If they are trying to be technical then write that “the suspect was caught carrying plants known to contain delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol” abi? Secondly what is with this rash of cannabis (na their story and na so dem take refer to the Igbo) smoking taking over the north? I guess if you need of a quick holiday but do not want to incur the expense of actually leaving your house…….
• 
  My Jeep – I found this article in Business Times “Regrettably, it is in the midst of all these problems that the state government under the stewardship of Governor Ibrahim Shekarau dolls out 57 Prado Jeeps of different models and sizes to all the district heads (hakimai), emirate council members and Ulamas (religious leaders). To add salt to our injury, each Prado Jeep goes for N7.1 million in the market but was obtained at the contract price of N11.5 million. It was reliably estimated to cost the state government over N1.6 billion to extend this cruel generosity when N500, 000 fuel money for each beneficiary was added to the total sum of the Jeeps.” While the issue of a Governor giving what is essentailly bribes to consorts and cohorts is a problem that needs to be addressed, but there other parts of that artcle that cuaght my attention; “it is undisputable that Kano housed the largest number of unemployed youth; widows and spinsters number are on the increase which promote social vices and spread diseases among the people in the state. The state is as well known as den of hooligans popularly known as Yanâ daba. It is estimated that over a million children of school age roam the street as beggars.”
• 
  Holy Cow – The daily trust says Zamfara, coy provide 1,000 kiosks to youths. “Zamfara State government in conjunction with Rafico has provided a total of 1000 youths with a kiosk and milk cow products of N100, 000 each to boost commercial activities in the state.” - Ok, wait let me see if I understand what is going on here, a company called Rafico is selling its “Milk Cow Products” to by force entrepreneurs, who are using government guaranteed line of credits? Talk about business with no down side risk. Not only are you the market, you are also the bank.
• 
  The more the merrier - The national Mirror reports that “Yar'Adua Creates 18 New Ministries” and will need 18 new ministers to man those ministries, who talk say work no dey Naija?

Finally a joke I heard, There was a poor man with many kids, Unfortunately, this man had only 5 Naira with him one particular day, which he used in purchasing fried fish. So this man made Garri and tied the fish to a stick up above the Garri. After a quick calculation was made, it was determined that each individual in the family was to take a spoonful of Garri and inhale the aroma from the fish once. Beginning from the father, then the mother and progressing through all the kids, they all took a spoonful of Garri and inhaled the aroma once. The last kid, feeling brave, took a spoonful of Garri and inhaled the aroma of the fish twice. Damn! His father gave him a dirty slap and said DROP ONE! The kid quickly exhaled in order to prevent a serious beating.

Yankee Living - A Paradigm Shift

In and Out- The system in this country is wonderful, on payday, you log into your bank account, and like magic, you are $100.00 richer, you smile. If you are one of the very organized ones you probably have all your bills scheduled to be auto deducted from your account. So you check to see if everything has been paid, yep, Mortgage $45, Car Note $15, Insurance $5, Alimony $10, Child Support $5, Credit Card bills $10, available balance $10, you frown. You write yourself a check for $10.00; you just remembered that you need to buy some groceries on your way home. You log out of the account, the balance exactly as it was before they paid you.

Nigerians Like Show - My guy owns a hummer, it gets about 10 miles to the gallon. We drive from gas station to gas station because the beast is always thirsty; the monster consumes fuel like a camel but has the fuel economy of a show pony. He has spent more money buying petrol than Mike Tyson spent buying Robin Givens, his truck is very needy, kind of like Ms. Givens (shouldn't she be Mrs. Tyson?). Anyway, whenever we hit the town, we always drive slowly not because we are trying to be noticed but because when we drive fast, we never make it to the next gas station. Funny thing, rich white people are driving funny looking little cars to save money but Naijaman dey upgrade to Super V8 Twin Cam Double Exhaust Turbo with the Chrome Wheels.

North Or South, Right or Left: I admit it, I have made up my mind, even if Obama woke up tomorrow and declared himself the leader of the Black Panther movement or McCain revealed that he was secretly the supreme Grandmaster of the KKK, it would not much change my views (find appropriate CARTOON). Like cement I have hardened, I can't be molded anymore, only broken. I know I am no longer listening, regardless of the relative merits of the respective positions of the candidates on pressing economic and political issues it does not make a difference. Like a good Nigerian I have already made up my mind even though I have not had time to weight the issues. Any kind of consternation I feel is caused only by the audacity of the other side’s refusal to capitulate to my point of view. I read newspapers and watch TV shows that reinforce my beliefs. When did I become this totalitarian? I really don't know but I realize I have been brainwashed by the arguments of one side and as such anything I hear from the other side is basically them feeding me propaganda. I recognize the problem but I don't any answers. Scorched earth politics, in the end we all end up losers.


Your Money Is Only Safe Under Your Mattress - Please do not buy shares they only lose value, as late as February 2008 Bear Sterns shares traded for $93.00, On Friday March 14th, 2008. Bear Sterns was sold to JPMorgan Chase for $2.00 a share, a loss of $91.00 for every share owned. If you are smart, you probably invested in commodities, although in the end the result is inevitably the same. The $150.00 barrel of oil you bought two months ago will be delivered to your house today at only $107.00. If you invested in real estate, hopefully it was not in Nevada, since the same house that the bank was so willing to lend you $500K to buy, would today be worth only $250K, good luck coming up with the balance when the collectors come knocking.
A few years ago I borrowed 100 pounds from my friend, and I took it to the bank to change it into dollars, the cashier punched in some numbers, bite his pencil, scribbled something on paper and finally pushed $135.00 my way after deducting the transaction fee, exchange fee, and fee fees. Recently my friend called asking for his money back, I offered him $135.00 from under my mattress, but he refused, he wanted 100 pounds back. so I went back to the same bank demanded 100 pounds but the cashier punched in his numbers, bite his pencil and scribbled something on paper and gave me 70 pounds after deducting the transaction fee, exchange fee and fee fees. I was floored; apparently, my money had shrunk while under my mattress, hmm.... maybe my mattress is not such a good place to keep my money after all.

Nnadi, J.C.

Like A Thief In The Night

You yawn, stretch and get up. You look at your watch, the time seems to be frozen at 4.30 AM or so but you are not sure, it is too dark in the room and your eyes haven’t adjusted to the light yet. You feel lighter on your feet for some reason, almost like you are floating on air. Your mind wonders over some of the mundane tasks you have planned for the day, you sit down in the living room and try to concentrate on the TV, but you can’t. You feel light headed, probably still sleepy, you think. The house help walks past you towards your bedroom but does not as much as acknowledge your presence, strange since she is usually so well mannered, you make a mental note to talk to her when she comes back out. Barely five minutes later a piercing scream comes from the direction of the bedroom, you recognize the voice of the help, she rushes past you, flying up the stairs, you cannot make what she is saying, but you rush into the bedroom anyway. There is a large shape on the bed under the covers, apprehensive but resolute you reach down and yank the cover off the form.
You feel your gut heave, this cannot be, you get a feeling like your head is swelling and filling up the room, you let out a scream but there is no sound. You look down at your feet and they really are not touching the ground, as realization and fear hit you all at once, you begin to cry but there is no tears; for the form on the bed is you, sleeping, never to get up again. RIP Uche Okafor, the world has lost a generous spirit, one of the few people that truly gave and expected nothing in return, you will be sorely missed.

This Kim Kardashian Sef....

She no fine pass my wife but i for no mind compare. I neva taste her food but i have a feeling even if she prepare burnt offering, i no go complain. I heard she has starred in a few private movies, so i googled it and now my computer has crashed from the viruses i picked up during the search. Some people say she has no talent but i beg to differ, infact i think she is very talented. They say she is a D Lister but i insist the person putting the list together can only be a jealous rival. From the look of her complexion she most bathe with lux and use Nukku every morning. Please do not read any big meaning into this, i am just say this Kim Kardashin sef....

CDXIX = 419

The true victims of Advance fee fraud are the not yet born. Understand that the desperation from which all this dubiousness sprung is real and cannot be explained away by reiterating the “eat or be eaten” mantra that is Africa. It is hard for outsiders to understand the true level of poverty and abject hopelessness that is the day-to-day reality of most Nigerians. 70 percent of Nigerians will live and die without ever seeing a computer, electricity is a luxury enjoyed by the very rich, even the rich does not have pipe borne water in most cases. In a country where there is barely a microcosm of a middle class occupying the DMZ between the extremely poor and the fantastically wealthy, success by any means is not only accepted but it is celebrated. The well-connected loot the treasury, the well-situated travel abroad and the not so fortunate make do anyhow they can. So if the choices are succeed or die? What do you think the answer will be?

But the unfortunate fact is that even as Nigeria’s economy came around a full 360 degrees, the it is still hard for legitimate businessmen to conduct business in an international arena where every action and inaction, verbal and nonverbal agreement, every check and even your cash is viewed with suspicion. This distrust cultivated over 30 plus years of being subjected to every kind of fraud imaginable has left the world wary of our intentions, and yet our children will be expected to participate in this same global market place on an equal footing! Forgive my crassness but if you shit in the kitchen, where will you go the next time you get hungry? and such is our plight. We have so effectively muddied the water that not only is it creating difficulties for us but it is also creating problems for those coming behind us.

One day in 2005

-Doctor Sued For Sex Treatment For Back Pain – AP 10/04/05 “An Oregon woman whose doctor convinced her that he could cure her back pain by having sex with her is suing him”. I am intrigued and impressed, at what point did she realize something was not quite right with the prescribed treatment, I can imagine the doctor saying “ma’am I am just doing this for your own good” and she reply's “actually doc, my back feels better already but my knees are killing me”. I don't truly believe anybody is that stupid, and depending on how good she looked, I might even be able to understand why the doctor tried to straighten that spine out with a “precise surgical instrument”. There is a cavalier part of every man that fantasizes about situations such as the one described above but to actually crossover and carryout those thoughts takes a special breed of scoundrel.
-At least 25 killed in Iraq mosque blast – AP 10/05/05 “A bomb exploded at the entrance of a Shiite Muslim mosque south of Baghdad as hundreds of worshippers gathered for prayers on the first day of Ramadan and for the funeral of a man killed in an earlier bombing”. The irony is almost too good to be true, initially they just crashed weddings, now they are crashing funerals as well, suicide bombers (is "suicide bomber" now one word or two? Can it be written as suicide-bombers? Also, is it a noun or an adjective? Does the word describe a section of the population or the activity of a section of the population? Anyway, I digress) now reign supreme in that part of the world. Everyday is about death, the news of death and the rumors of even more death to come. Every trip outside is an adventure in extreme living, funny how quickly we have all become used to “the situation in Iraq”. “Five solders killed in bomb blast”, we look at it, shake our heads in disgust, take a sip of coffee, it does not register anymore. Collective numbness to a dire and desperate problem that sadly, could have been avoided all together.
-Python Explodes After eating Alligator – AP 10/05/05 “A 13-foot Burmese python recently burst after it apparently tried to swallow a live, six-foot alligator whole, authorities said”. Now, that is an acute case of indigestion, this is one time when Pepto-Bismol will be useless. Apparently that exploding feeling in your stomach really could be your dinner coming out, the moral of this story? “Chose your lunch wisely”.

Akpa Mgbo (Bullet Bag).

Apparently, Militancy is now a growth industry in Nigeria, “Observers say that with Okah's media-savvy guidance, Mend transformed itself from a band of poorly organized thugs into an operation that had well organized propaganda and appeared to have a political mission.” Back in the day when you threatened to MEND anyone, it was restricted to blows with fists; I guess times have changed (for the worse). If you need to read more on the subject check here and here.
This my friend are strange times for the church in Nigeria, the crooks masquerading as men of God now out number the victims, but even then I was pretty confused when I cam across this piece of oddity, 40 Members of the Deeper Life Church die mysteriously after deliverance prayer session - Family of 3 dies of food poisoning. Please try to read the full text of the story before you pass judgment but even the faith a devout Christian would be shaken by the sorry state of evangelical worship in Nigeria today.
Proving once again that Nigerian courts are not retirement homes for elderly or well connected lawyers C' River: Appeal Court sacks governor Imoke and his Deputy. This is a particularly pleasing turn of events IMO, the arrogance of the man (Imoke) knows no limits and everyday that he is not in office is a good day, IMO.
From the land of “Naira Politricks” comes the very unsurprising news that Alleged N1bn loot: Ibadan elders, Afenifere, Ajimobi ask Alao-Akala to resign,. Although as a matter of general principle I am against pot assigning any manner of color to the kettle, the issue of politicians looting the treasury is getting out of hand. I mean in this century where do you plan to go and spend the money that O’lopa will not come after you?
Finally, all those people that thought that the Kalo Kalo place called the stock market in Nigeria was a risk adverse way to grow wealthy without hard work must be reassessing their permutations.

Recently Stock market volatility has been giving stock flippers ulcer. Omo, if anybody ever offers you free money look around you, you might be on Candid Camera, for a long time students in the US where borrowing government money to buy stocks in Dangote Sugar without regards to the downside risk of stock trading and for a while there was no downside risk. Every 50K stock offered at N3.00 sold on opening day for N3.50, well “E Bun la awon jo yen translated from very bad Yoruba this simply means “Gun are those days”. Now is when you will find out of your stock broker was worth all the commission he was charging you all these years.

E be like say that $20.00 Billion Foreign Reserve No Go Do.

Every once in a while you come across a story that makes you stop and say “woo” how in God’s name is this even possible? Nigeria needs $85bn to fix power, if according to experts it would cost about $2 billion dollars in today’s dollars to rebuild the Hoover dam from scratch then where are they getting these figures from? Remember that this figure does not factor in the $10.00 billion Baba Sege was supposed to have spent on power generation already. Quoting BBC News Africa “The most sensational revelations stem from an inquiry into the power sector, begun by a panel in the House of Representatives after Mr Yar'Adua said in January that more than $10bn had been spent on electricity under the previous government, with little to show for it.” Omo the way they spend money in Nigeria is scary.

Politricks

Objectivity is relative, it is relative and it is also subjective. It is relative to the subject and subject to your relative bias and i will try not to bring my personal bias into play as I navigate this jungle. What bias? You ask. Just the same baggage everyone logs around on a daily basis, a product whose raw ingredients are my life experiences, genetic make up, level of education and my socio geographical tendencies or the influence of society on my perception of right and wrong. For example take this question Mallam Aminu Kano Airport: A Victim Of Politics Or Religion?, Capt Daniel Omale, the author is firmly of the opinion that the tribal and religious genocide that has been visited on non Kano Indigenes during the various riots has finally come home to roast for the people of Kano state. A once vibrant economy and formerly the second richest state in the republic has fallen on hard times, the famous Kano market is no longer the commercial hub of northern Nigeria. True, you will also find that the growth of Abuja less than 350 Kilometers away has been a blessing and a curse to the states neighboring ABJ bacuase of the tidal wave of migrating talent and capital Kaduna is still stuck in it’s 60s era colonial glory. It has not made any progress in 30 years and in fact is regressing to a Kanoist level of religious intolerance and developmental segregation divided along ethnic and tribal fault lines.

Speaking of death and the dieing, Lamidi Adedibu is dead. I could go on and say ignorant stuff about the political titan that was Lamidi Adedibu but instead I will say rest in peace to the man that perfected “Cash and Carry” politics. Somewhere in heaven I am sure he is nodding his head and going, “amateurs” at this report that thuggery, rigging trail LG poll in Oyo. The most astonishing and interesting part of that report was this quote from former Governor of Oyo State, Alhaji Lam Adesina, “I wrote the governor, Chief Adebayo Alao-Akala on Tuesday to ask whether there will be free and fair election and he wrote back the following day assuring me that it will be free and fair.I don’t want to believe that they deceived me, because I will never participate in a sham election” – said the kettle about the reported blackness of the pot.

Moving on swiftly, across the Niger to that other decaying sore of a city in the east, somebody has decide to do the public a service and compile a list of Places to avoid in Onitsha, the sad truth is that Onitsha has been in the grip of fantastically well armed men for as long as I can remember. I remember the first time I visited Ontisha back in 1990, I was perplexed by the notion that once it is nine o’clock in the evening the whole city goes into lock down. Me, being a city kid I was used to partying until later in the morning, I was sternly informed “Biya! Obule na e noro na unaa by nine, just lalu abe no”. Or in English, “if you are not home by nine, please try and make friends were ever you are because you will be sleeping there”. I mean the whole city has collectively conceded their town to hoods but then wetin man for do? The real problem with stand and fight, is the standing part. Humphery Nwosu recently came out to state the obvious, that Chief Moshood Abiola won the annulled June 12, 1993 election. Upon this news, MKO’s relatives have contacted the finest voodoo doctors in Haiti to help raise the great man from the grave so that he can actualize his mandate. Talk about useless information, if this is not douche baggery of the highest order, then i don’t know what is. 15 years after our country almost relapsed into civil war, this turncoat of a Chairman of the National Electoral Commission, comes out to admit that while he was in office, he lacked the courage or commitment needed to finish the job.

The Minister of Mines and Steel Development, says there was a syndicate in the mining sector that specialised in cornering exploration licences and hawking them in other countries of the world, and this made the country a laughing stock. I don’t know about you but this to me is better than Nigerian girls hawking ass in the streets of Rome. But back to the seriousness of the matter, this initiative is excellent, you don’t need a mining license if you do not have the capacity to develop the land in question, of course I am assuming that these old licenses will not be revoked so that the new boss can now proceed to issue out his own freshly minted licenses,……. for the usual fee.

I encourage you to follow this link and read the whole thing, Nigeria: One Year After, Yar'Adua's Seven-Point Agenda Bereft of Any Proper Road Map. It is well thought out and eloquently written discuss on the direction of the nation and leadership of the other Yar’adua.

This may not be the best of times for the former Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), Malam Nuhu Ribadu as he was said to have been demoted.Unconfirmed reports yesterday stated that Ribadu, presently a student of the National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies (NIPSS) has been demoted from the rank of Deputy Inspector General of Police (DIG) to Deputy Commissioner of Police (DCP) – On in other words, he has gone from eating at the big table with a long fork (required equipment when dining with the devil) to sharing the tuwo mat with uninvited guests. Please do not feel sorry for him, remember he is still eating and they have not chased him out of the compound, …..yet.

Live long and prosper

As you crossover, reach behind you, pull the ladder. Their cries will fade to nothing as you proceed further into the darkness. Once on top the mountain, roll crap down on them below and savor the world from on top the heap. Try not to slip and fall back to them, you know how eagerly they await your return.

The Essence Of Fear

I am afraid.
I am afraid to die.
I am afraid to live.
I am afraid I will not achieve my dreams.
I am afraid my friends will achieve their dreams.
I am afraid I will grow fat.
I am afraid you will notice.
I am afraid of strangers.
I am afraid of friends.
I am afraid of darkness.
I am afraid of the spotlight.
I am afraid of my future.
I am afraid of my past.
I am afraid of driving fast.
I am afraid I will arrive late.
I am afraid of my expectations.
I am afraid of your expectations.
I am afraid of my parents ambitions.
I am afraid my parents are afraid.
I am afraid of dieing alone.
I am afraid of letting anyone in.
I am afraid I care too much.
I am afraid you don’t care enough.
I am afraid to cry for help.
I am afraid you will not care to help.
I am afraid I don’t believe.
I am afraid I should believe.
I am afraid.