Today in the papers

• White Magic – This BBC Africa report is about a 94-year-old white traditionalist high priestess of the Orisha worship from Oshogbo. I was particularly struck by portion where it said “In her early years in Nigeria she met Adjagemo, a high-priest of creator-God Obatala, who would become her mentor.” He took me by the hand and led me into the spirit world," Mrs. Wenger told a French documentary maker in 2005. "I did not speak Yoruba, and he did not speak English, our only intercourse was the language of the trees."
  Forgive my dirty mind but the combination; taken by the hand, led into the spirit, intercourse and trees made me wonder. The story is pretty engaging, please read it.
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  New national identity card scheme – Business day online reports the National Identity Management Commission (NIMC) is working on new national identity cards. The fact is this is an unsustainable misadventure in bureaucratic arrogance. Of all the definitions of the word scheme, two seem to be particularly pertinent, one: A scheme could be defined as a systematic and coherent arrangement of parts employed towards achieving a common goal. This would imply that somewhere in Nigeria there exists an organized body whose functions and goals are not colored by nepotism, self-aggrandizement, sectional bigotry and religious intolerance. This National ID card scheme will turn into another “census”, it would inevitable be the bases for revenue sharing and with it the introduction of money into the scheme, like blood in the water, it will attract sharks. The other definition that I thought was appropriate was “a secret and cunning plan, especially one designed to cause damage or harm”. Imagine how much easier it will be for fraudsters to manipulate such a database. How long will it be before someone is selling your information on EBay?
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  Funny - From the Daily champion comes the joke of the week, “Over 19 million persons with disabilities in Nigeria would soon smile as the Senate promised to give accelerated passage to a bill that would provide walk ways in public buildings and access to churches, mosque and streets specifically for the disabled.” This, in a country where only one bridge carries the entire weight of East West commerce. Funny how the senate can find time to pass frivolous laws while key infrastructures continue to face decay and neglect.
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  Parental Supervision – Lagos Weekend times reports that “A 35-year-old businessman, Ahmed Oresanya has told a Mushin Customary Court that he was seeking to divorce his wife of nine years at the prompting of his parents. Ahmed told the court that being the only child of his family; his parents had wanted him to divorce his wife Evelyn.” I wonder if it would have made a difference if he was the third child? Talk about living with the In-laws.
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  Still In the weekend times – This paper is such a delicious read, it is one of my guilty pleasures, you can find some remarkable off-beat stories tucked into all kinds of corners – Man, 60, arrested with 2 lorry loads of Cannabis and Suspect admits taking cannabis. First of all, why do they insist on calling it Cannabis instead of the more universal marijuana? If they are trying to be technical then write that “the suspect was caught carrying plants known to contain delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol” abi? Secondly what is with this rash of cannabis (na their story and na so dem take refer to the Igbo) smoking taking over the north? I guess if you need of a quick holiday but do not want to incur the expense of actually leaving your house…….
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  My Jeep – I found this article in Business Times “Regrettably, it is in the midst of all these problems that the state government under the stewardship of Governor Ibrahim Shekarau dolls out 57 Prado Jeeps of different models and sizes to all the district heads (hakimai), emirate council members and Ulamas (religious leaders). To add salt to our injury, each Prado Jeep goes for N7.1 million in the market but was obtained at the contract price of N11.5 million. It was reliably estimated to cost the state government over N1.6 billion to extend this cruel generosity when N500, 000 fuel money for each beneficiary was added to the total sum of the Jeeps.” While the issue of a Governor giving what is essentailly bribes to consorts and cohorts is a problem that needs to be addressed, but there other parts of that artcle that cuaght my attention; “it is undisputable that Kano housed the largest number of unemployed youth; widows and spinsters number are on the increase which promote social vices and spread diseases among the people in the state. The state is as well known as den of hooligans popularly known as Yanâ daba. It is estimated that over a million children of school age roam the street as beggars.”
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  Holy Cow – The daily trust says Zamfara, coy provide 1,000 kiosks to youths. “Zamfara State government in conjunction with Rafico has provided a total of 1000 youths with a kiosk and milk cow products of N100, 000 each to boost commercial activities in the state.” - Ok, wait let me see if I understand what is going on here, a company called Rafico is selling its “Milk Cow Products” to by force entrepreneurs, who are using government guaranteed line of credits? Talk about business with no down side risk. Not only are you the market, you are also the bank.
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  The more the merrier - The national Mirror reports that “Yar'Adua Creates 18 New Ministries” and will need 18 new ministers to man those ministries, who talk say work no dey Naija?

Finally a joke I heard, There was a poor man with many kids, Unfortunately, this man had only 5 Naira with him one particular day, which he used in purchasing fried fish. So this man made Garri and tied the fish to a stick up above the Garri. After a quick calculation was made, it was determined that each individual in the family was to take a spoonful of Garri and inhale the aroma from the fish once. Beginning from the father, then the mother and progressing through all the kids, they all took a spoonful of Garri and inhaled the aroma once. The last kid, feeling brave, took a spoonful of Garri and inhaled the aroma of the fish twice. Damn! His father gave him a dirty slap and said DROP ONE! The kid quickly exhaled in order to prevent a serious beating.