Yankee Living - A Paradigm Shift

In and Out- The system in this country is wonderful, on payday, you log into your bank account, and like magic, you are $100.00 richer, you smile. If you are one of the very organized ones you probably have all your bills scheduled to be auto deducted from your account. So you check to see if everything has been paid, yep, Mortgage $45, Car Note $15, Insurance $5, Alimony $10, Child Support $5, Credit Card bills $10, available balance $10, you frown. You write yourself a check for $10.00; you just remembered that you need to buy some groceries on your way home. You log out of the account, the balance exactly as it was before they paid you.

Nigerians Like Show - My guy owns a hummer, it gets about 10 miles to the gallon. We drive from gas station to gas station because the beast is always thirsty; the monster consumes fuel like a camel but has the fuel economy of a show pony. He has spent more money buying petrol than Mike Tyson spent buying Robin Givens, his truck is very needy, kind of like Ms. Givens (shouldn't she be Mrs. Tyson?). Anyway, whenever we hit the town, we always drive slowly not because we are trying to be noticed but because when we drive fast, we never make it to the next gas station. Funny thing, rich white people are driving funny looking little cars to save money but Naijaman dey upgrade to Super V8 Twin Cam Double Exhaust Turbo with the Chrome Wheels.

North Or South, Right or Left: I admit it, I have made up my mind, even if Obama woke up tomorrow and declared himself the leader of the Black Panther movement or McCain revealed that he was secretly the supreme Grandmaster of the KKK, it would not much change my views (find appropriate CARTOON). Like cement I have hardened, I can't be molded anymore, only broken. I know I am no longer listening, regardless of the relative merits of the respective positions of the candidates on pressing economic and political issues it does not make a difference. Like a good Nigerian I have already made up my mind even though I have not had time to weight the issues. Any kind of consternation I feel is caused only by the audacity of the other side’s refusal to capitulate to my point of view. I read newspapers and watch TV shows that reinforce my beliefs. When did I become this totalitarian? I really don't know but I realize I have been brainwashed by the arguments of one side and as such anything I hear from the other side is basically them feeding me propaganda. I recognize the problem but I don't any answers. Scorched earth politics, in the end we all end up losers.


Your Money Is Only Safe Under Your Mattress - Please do not buy shares they only lose value, as late as February 2008 Bear Sterns shares traded for $93.00, On Friday March 14th, 2008. Bear Sterns was sold to JPMorgan Chase for $2.00 a share, a loss of $91.00 for every share owned. If you are smart, you probably invested in commodities, although in the end the result is inevitably the same. The $150.00 barrel of oil you bought two months ago will be delivered to your house today at only $107.00. If you invested in real estate, hopefully it was not in Nevada, since the same house that the bank was so willing to lend you $500K to buy, would today be worth only $250K, good luck coming up with the balance when the collectors come knocking.
A few years ago I borrowed 100 pounds from my friend, and I took it to the bank to change it into dollars, the cashier punched in some numbers, bite his pencil, scribbled something on paper and finally pushed $135.00 my way after deducting the transaction fee, exchange fee, and fee fees. Recently my friend called asking for his money back, I offered him $135.00 from under my mattress, but he refused, he wanted 100 pounds back. so I went back to the same bank demanded 100 pounds but the cashier punched in his numbers, bite his pencil and scribbled something on paper and gave me 70 pounds after deducting the transaction fee, exchange fee and fee fees. I was floored; apparently, my money had shrunk while under my mattress, hmm.... maybe my mattress is not such a good place to keep my money after all.

Nnadi, J.C.