The Living Dead

Your primary goal when you get up in the morning, is to make it through the day. There are various obstacles in the way, like your blanket and the softness of the pillow. Everybody starts the day with a full bottle of “get up and go”. For some people, theirs’ empty like an hourglass and they are ready to pack it in by lunch time. Other people are like finely tuned Hondas, efficiently sipping energy all day long. Normally, you game plan your day. Sometimes your plan is akin to a soccer formation, deploying a 4-4-2 which covers lots of activity in the morning and afternoon, or if your aim is to pack the midfield, you go 4-5-1. Other days, you use basketball for your game planning, deciding on whether it would be better to play the pick and roll with your chores or maybe run the triangle on offense and match up zone on your boss. Most people’s typical day normally moves with military precision, 5.00 AM the alarm goes off, 5.01 AM turn it off, 5.03 AM back to sleep, 8.39 AM jump out of the bed.



8.51 AM, you are experiencing your first incidence of road rage for the day. Now, road rage is like morning coffee, it wakes you up, as you curse and threaten everybody else on the road while driving like a lunatic, your blood is flowing and the adrenaline is pumping through your system, this is the high point of your day. You see flashing lights in your rearview mirror, yes that’s right, you are getting pulled over, again. All the anger disappears from you in flash, you are contrite and full of humility, the transformation from King Kong to house monkey is nothing short of miraculous. The officer walks up to your window;



Officer :– Do you know why I pulled you over?

You : – (in a very small voice) – No officer.

Officer : - You were driving erratically and cut that other driver off.

You : – Officer, I apologize, only this morning discovered I have cataracts and I did not see him. I plan to have surgery this afternoon, it will not happen again.



Of course the officer gives you a ticket, as you drive away observing every single traffic ordinance known to man, you feel sad and lonely. It is only 9.15 AM and already you owe the state $265.00 plus court costs, life sucks.



You enter the office at 9.35 AM and of course your boss does not want to hear it, the meeting started thirty five minutes ago and your sorry ass was not only late but unprepared. You em.., em.., your way through a ragged presentation, sit down to the quiet confusion of your coworkers in the room. Your shoulders slump, you are hoping you still have a job by lunch time. Two hours later you are ready for lunch, finally a break, something you can look forward to and enjoy, food.



The line at the lunch counter is seven deep, you push your way to the front, the harassed lady with the wild hair in front is yelling something into the microphone, your mind wonders as you contemplate the menu and after a while you notice she has been staring at you for a while;



Lady (testily) : May I take you order, PLEASE?

You: Can I have the No. 8 with no cheese, no lettuce, no mayo? And no onions.

Lady: SIR’ do you want a drink and fries with that?

You: Can I have a large fry and a medium diet coke?

Lady: That will be $9.00.

You: WHAT? $9….you start to protest but you snatch a quick look at the impatient line of hungry people behind you and quickly change you mind. As you reach for your wallet. you make the sickening discovery, you don’t have your wallet on you! You must have left in the car!



Lady (takes one look at you as you pat yourself down hastily, and hisses): NEXT!





You stumble back into the office, hungry and embarrassed. It’s only 1.00 O’clock and your tank is almost empty. But like a good hybrid you switch to your back up energy source and begin to down large cups of free office coffee. By 3.00 PM you are twitching like a crack addict experiencing withdrawal, now you are just basically clock watching. God, why is time moving so slowly today?



Finally 4.52 PM, you snatch your coat, turn off the system and head for the door. Just as you are leaving, your boss is coming in, he looks at his watch, and instinctively you look at yours as well, the time is 4.57 PM. His face tightens, but he says nothing, you fall into the elevator in a daze cursing your crummy luck.



You get to the garage, jump into your car, put the key in the ignition, turn it and nothing, not even a tickle. Confused you turn on the interior lights in the car, they give off a faded dim burnt bronze glow. You put your head down on the steering wheel, you know what the problem is, in your haste to get to work this morning, you had left your headlights on, now your batteries are completely drained. Time is 5.16 PM.



8.09 PM, you walk through your door and flop on the couch (it’s wasn’t easy getting a jump in a town where hardly anyone carries jumper cables around). But you are home now, last night’s leftover Pizza is quickly wolfed down. The first beer hits your stomach barely touching your throat. The second one quickly meets the same faith. Now an alcohol induced haze is beginning to come over you, you move to the bedroom from the couch, you have made it through today, you survived the day. As you drift off to sleep, you contemplate your life as a modern day work zombie, you mentally steel yourself for the next day’s coming battle.



Time is 10.42 PM.