Disgruntled.

God; it feels like I am sitting in Tonia’s barbecue pit, the heat from the engine is roasting me and my rapidly rising anger is in symmetry with it. I feel a symbiotic bond with the misery all around me, this train is too hot, and this jacket is so God DAMNED HEAVY! I…., I need to calm down…but it is so heavy. Gone are the days when I recoiled from the pain or flinched before the wretched hordes. They can push me around all they want, my days are numbered and the sense of invincibility I feel comes from the certainty of my plight. One eye closed, I try to concentrate on the details of my plan, I feel some perverse sense of pleasure in anticipation of the suffering I am about to unleash. The world had never been kind to me and now finally, somebody will bear the brunt of all the days I had cried myself to sleep. My meaningless,… desolate existence, will be remembered for at least one thing. I will put an end to this continuously endless dissolution of society, corrupt corporations, run by corrupt Neanderthals. They held my head down, yes they did, they never gave me a chance, they ground my ambitions and dreams into dust …….It never much mattered to them how I felt, it was always, take, take, take…… Why is the guard staring at me, does he know? Oh God, I hope that nothing is showing…. Not here, not out in the lobby, I will never make it upstairs, if I have to start here. Phew, he looked away, for a second there I almost……I have to admit these elevators are fast, how fast did the very first elevator go, I wonder? Strange, why am I so calm, my hands are almost perfectly still if not for that slight tremor…. Deep breathe, ohhhh, ahhhh, ohhhh, ahhhhh, breathe in, out, check the twelve gauge, tuck the 45 into my pant front. As I bust through the door, Mrs. Smith jumps back startled, then she recognizes me, I see the familiar disdain begin to settle back into her face, then she sees the gun, her eyes start to widen again. The beginnings of a wicked grin starts to form at the corners of my mouth as I bring the gun level, dead center ………..<