I know what you are thinking.

I have problem, I want to be liked. And I am not sure that is necessarily a standard for success. In my experience the most success people I know have a bit of a bastard in them. They don’t really care what you think and mostly appear to listen to you just to confirm their own opinions. The dilemma here is that if you go too far then people just hate you, if you are unfortunate enough to not have the personal charisma to overcome the douche in you, God help you. I have taken withering criticism from people for things that I did not do, not because I could not perform but because I failed to inform them at the start I did not want to be apart of the arrangement. You don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, you tell them what you believe they want to hear but in the end, you don’t win, do you? I find myself laughing at a joke i did not really understand and nodding in agreement to a mumbled or incoherent statement, if the reaction is in anyway inappropriate, the other party walks away thinking I am are either an idiot or worse, a Jerk. Now, you would say “grow a pair” or something equally as silly, but that is not the problem. I can be an asshole without the slightest bit of regret or worry about your feelings or even the predisposition to try and understand why you are upset. It is just that unlike a natural asshole, I do not find that it is my first instinct to tell you to "fuckoff"! even if that is how I am feeling at that particular time. I find that, the more successful the individual, the more they are (for lack of a better word) very pragmatic in their view of things, this pragmatism is built with a hard edge, built with a tilt towards only doing things as long as it does not require them to make too much of a departure from their regular way of life. I know, at a certain age things are supposed to be what they are and decisions are decisions irrespective of whose ox is gored, that does not mean that it comes more naturally if your first inclination is to try and not hurt anyone’s feelings. I feel like in the end I do end up hurting everyone’s feelings, especially mine. When I nod in agreement without hearing what you said or tell you I will attend you function knowing fully well I will not be there or tell you it is a good idea when I think you are crazy, what do I get out of it? Nothing really, if I want to be honest with myself. You won’t think I am a nice guy when I don’t show up or you finally figure out that scheduling a $1000.00 monthly car note on a $1500.00 monthly pay check is a bad idea. The problem is that I have a hard time being that guy, the guy with the impossible standards, I am not hard to please, at all. I don’t care if you are not the symbol of hard work and diligence, I can do my share and yours without thinking about it. But by doing that, did I help or hurt you? If I held you up to the same standard as I would hold myself, would you be better off? Or am I imposing my own values on you without prior consent? Today’s uncompromising realist could be tomorrow’s inflexible bastard. I guess depending on who you are talking to, you could be both at the same time, but still the problem persists, I want to be liked.