Akpa Mgbo (Bullet Bag).

Apparently, Militancy is now a growth industry in Nigeria, “Observers say that with Okah's media-savvy guidance, Mend transformed itself from a band of poorly organized thugs into an operation that had well organized propaganda and appeared to have a political mission.” Back in the day when you threatened to MEND anyone, it was restricted to blows with fists; I guess times have changed (for the worse). If you need to read more on the subject check here and here.
This my friend are strange times for the church in Nigeria, the crooks masquerading as men of God now out number the victims, but even then I was pretty confused when I cam across this piece of oddity, 40 Members of the Deeper Life Church die mysteriously after deliverance prayer session - Family of 3 dies of food poisoning. Please try to read the full text of the story before you pass judgment but even the faith a devout Christian would be shaken by the sorry state of evangelical worship in Nigeria today.
Proving once again that Nigerian courts are not retirement homes for elderly or well connected lawyers C' River: Appeal Court sacks governor Imoke and his Deputy. This is a particularly pleasing turn of events IMO, the arrogance of the man (Imoke) knows no limits and everyday that he is not in office is a good day, IMO.
From the land of “Naira Politricks” comes the very unsurprising news that Alleged N1bn loot: Ibadan elders, Afenifere, Ajimobi ask Alao-Akala to resign,. Although as a matter of general principle I am against pot assigning any manner of color to the kettle, the issue of politicians looting the treasury is getting out of hand. I mean in this century where do you plan to go and spend the money that O’lopa will not come after you?
Finally, all those people that thought that the Kalo Kalo place called the stock market in Nigeria was a risk adverse way to grow wealthy without hard work must be reassessing their permutations.

Recently Stock market volatility has been giving stock flippers ulcer. Omo, if anybody ever offers you free money look around you, you might be on Candid Camera, for a long time students in the US where borrowing government money to buy stocks in Dangote Sugar without regards to the downside risk of stock trading and for a while there was no downside risk. Every 50K stock offered at N3.00 sold on opening day for N3.50, well “E Bun la awon jo yen translated from very bad Yoruba this simply means “Gun are those days”. Now is when you will find out of your stock broker was worth all the commission he was charging you all these years.

E be like say that $20.00 Billion Foreign Reserve No Go Do.

Every once in a while you come across a story that makes you stop and say “woo” how in God’s name is this even possible? Nigeria needs $85bn to fix power, if according to experts it would cost about $2 billion dollars in today’s dollars to rebuild the Hoover dam from scratch then where are they getting these figures from? Remember that this figure does not factor in the $10.00 billion Baba Sege was supposed to have spent on power generation already. Quoting BBC News Africa “The most sensational revelations stem from an inquiry into the power sector, begun by a panel in the House of Representatives after Mr Yar'Adua said in January that more than $10bn had been spent on electricity under the previous government, with little to show for it.” Omo the way they spend money in Nigeria is scary.

Politricks

Objectivity is relative, it is relative and it is also subjective. It is relative to the subject and subject to your relative bias and i will try not to bring my personal bias into play as I navigate this jungle. What bias? You ask. Just the same baggage everyone logs around on a daily basis, a product whose raw ingredients are my life experiences, genetic make up, level of education and my socio geographical tendencies or the influence of society on my perception of right and wrong. For example take this question Mallam Aminu Kano Airport: A Victim Of Politics Or Religion?, Capt Daniel Omale, the author is firmly of the opinion that the tribal and religious genocide that has been visited on non Kano Indigenes during the various riots has finally come home to roast for the people of Kano state. A once vibrant economy and formerly the second richest state in the republic has fallen on hard times, the famous Kano market is no longer the commercial hub of northern Nigeria. True, you will also find that the growth of Abuja less than 350 Kilometers away has been a blessing and a curse to the states neighboring ABJ bacuase of the tidal wave of migrating talent and capital Kaduna is still stuck in it’s 60s era colonial glory. It has not made any progress in 30 years and in fact is regressing to a Kanoist level of religious intolerance and developmental segregation divided along ethnic and tribal fault lines.

Speaking of death and the dieing, Lamidi Adedibu is dead. I could go on and say ignorant stuff about the political titan that was Lamidi Adedibu but instead I will say rest in peace to the man that perfected “Cash and Carry” politics. Somewhere in heaven I am sure he is nodding his head and going, “amateurs” at this report that thuggery, rigging trail LG poll in Oyo. The most astonishing and interesting part of that report was this quote from former Governor of Oyo State, Alhaji Lam Adesina, “I wrote the governor, Chief Adebayo Alao-Akala on Tuesday to ask whether there will be free and fair election and he wrote back the following day assuring me that it will be free and fair.I don’t want to believe that they deceived me, because I will never participate in a sham election” – said the kettle about the reported blackness of the pot.

Moving on swiftly, across the Niger to that other decaying sore of a city in the east, somebody has decide to do the public a service and compile a list of Places to avoid in Onitsha, the sad truth is that Onitsha has been in the grip of fantastically well armed men for as long as I can remember. I remember the first time I visited Ontisha back in 1990, I was perplexed by the notion that once it is nine o’clock in the evening the whole city goes into lock down. Me, being a city kid I was used to partying until later in the morning, I was sternly informed “Biya! Obule na e noro na unaa by nine, just lalu abe no”. Or in English, “if you are not home by nine, please try and make friends were ever you are because you will be sleeping there”. I mean the whole city has collectively conceded their town to hoods but then wetin man for do? The real problem with stand and fight, is the standing part. Humphery Nwosu recently came out to state the obvious, that Chief Moshood Abiola won the annulled June 12, 1993 election. Upon this news, MKO’s relatives have contacted the finest voodoo doctors in Haiti to help raise the great man from the grave so that he can actualize his mandate. Talk about useless information, if this is not douche baggery of the highest order, then i don’t know what is. 15 years after our country almost relapsed into civil war, this turncoat of a Chairman of the National Electoral Commission, comes out to admit that while he was in office, he lacked the courage or commitment needed to finish the job.

The Minister of Mines and Steel Development, says there was a syndicate in the mining sector that specialised in cornering exploration licences and hawking them in other countries of the world, and this made the country a laughing stock. I don’t know about you but this to me is better than Nigerian girls hawking ass in the streets of Rome. But back to the seriousness of the matter, this initiative is excellent, you don’t need a mining license if you do not have the capacity to develop the land in question, of course I am assuming that these old licenses will not be revoked so that the new boss can now proceed to issue out his own freshly minted licenses,……. for the usual fee.

I encourage you to follow this link and read the whole thing, Nigeria: One Year After, Yar'Adua's Seven-Point Agenda Bereft of Any Proper Road Map. It is well thought out and eloquently written discuss on the direction of the nation and leadership of the other Yar’adua.

This may not be the best of times for the former Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), Malam Nuhu Ribadu as he was said to have been demoted.Unconfirmed reports yesterday stated that Ribadu, presently a student of the National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies (NIPSS) has been demoted from the rank of Deputy Inspector General of Police (DIG) to Deputy Commissioner of Police (DCP) – On in other words, he has gone from eating at the big table with a long fork (required equipment when dining with the devil) to sharing the tuwo mat with uninvited guests. Please do not feel sorry for him, remember he is still eating and they have not chased him out of the compound, …..yet.

Live long and prosper

As you crossover, reach behind you, pull the ladder. Their cries will fade to nothing as you proceed further into the darkness. Once on top the mountain, roll crap down on them below and savor the world from on top the heap. Try not to slip and fall back to them, you know how eagerly they await your return.

The Essence Of Fear

I am afraid.
I am afraid to die.
I am afraid to live.
I am afraid I will not achieve my dreams.
I am afraid my friends will achieve their dreams.
I am afraid I will grow fat.
I am afraid you will notice.
I am afraid of strangers.
I am afraid of friends.
I am afraid of darkness.
I am afraid of the spotlight.
I am afraid of my future.
I am afraid of my past.
I am afraid of driving fast.
I am afraid I will arrive late.
I am afraid of my expectations.
I am afraid of your expectations.
I am afraid of my parents ambitions.
I am afraid my parents are afraid.
I am afraid of dieing alone.
I am afraid of letting anyone in.
I am afraid I care too much.
I am afraid you don’t care enough.
I am afraid to cry for help.
I am afraid you will not care to help.
I am afraid I don’t believe.
I am afraid I should believe.
I am afraid.

The people have spoken!

A general feeling of hopelessness has taken a hold of my heart and has refused to let go. The pain is real and it is here to stay. As the first set of results came in, I felt like I was stranded on a window ledge 10 stories high, holding on for all I was worth but that my strength was gradually sipping away, I was beginning to acknowledge that the fall was inevitable but still I held out hope that something would happen to change my luck, that this could not be it, it was not destined to end this way. The results from the elections are finally in and is already apart of history, I can’t bring myself to read the papers or browse the web. For now I am sticking to the sports section in the newspaper, the results in there are easier to deal with. I don’t know if there are other people who feel the same way about the outcome of the election as I do, for as much as I want to share the experience, I find that I can’t, the pain is too numbing and the feeling of emptiness too large to be put into words. Where do we go from here? I have always believed in the fairness of the system and in the collective intelligence of the American public, it was too well educated to be hoodwinked into making a choice based on rhetoric but right now I don’t know, my faith has been shaken. I cannot fathom how based on the facts that we know, and the events of the last four years, this could possibly be the best choice for the country. Yes the masses have spoken and the will of the majority should always prevail, thus is the power of democracy. I will have to reevaluate the circumstances that led to my conviction that the current outcome was the least likely of the two possibilities. This is a distinct victory for pollsters, handlers, people managers and spin masters everywhere. It proves once and for all that if you to say the same thing over and over again, enough times, loud enough, people will begin to believe it to be the truth.

The Hunt

The concept here, is more or less guerilla job hunting. Land the job you want, when you want, at the salary you want. The idea is to take the guess work out of the job hunt, to place power where it firmly belongs, in the hands of the unemployed.

The first step would have to be to correct the attitude with which applicants approach the "hunt". Listen, it is called a hunt, so act like a hunter not the hunted, if you act like a shy lion you will get no respect from the deer. You will never see a lion jog after it's meal, it not out there running after deer for the exercise, you most act like you want it and that this is your last chance to get it. Plan your interview, like you are planning an attack on terrorists, take nothing for granted, and cover all the obvious questions. Why do you want to work here? What made you choose this profession? What makes you the right person for this job? Do you have a track record of being successful doing this?

Then there are the not so obvious situations. Like how will you react to different personality types at the interview table. If they are the shy type then don't push, if your interviewer is the aggressive type match their energy.

Apply the laws of supply and demand to your interview, you are in demand and they want your services as much as you want to work for them. To achieve this you most make them sell the company and the job to you. Ask questions about the job, the growth prospects, the hiring manager, why they have a vacancy. Make sure you come across as being interested in knowing if the job is as good a fit for you, as you are for it.

Go over your resume like you were going to hire yourself and see what questions occur to you. Try to have an answer for everything, if you don't know? Smile and say "interesting question" and then duck your head under the table (joke).

If you are being interviewed on the phone speak slowly and keep your answers short, remember the poor sap on the other end is trying to write down your words of wisdom as you speak. And if all else fails, just look them in the eye and say "blessed are the givers, for they shall receive much in return"(another lame joke, sorry could not help myself ). This could be interpreted as an attempt to bribe but if certain failure calls for desperate measures, a lame joke is hardly the worst you could do. Smile, you got this. 

Electorial College

The margin of error in this election is so slim that I am afraid that very soon it is going to come down to that single "swing voter". "They" (whoever "they" are) have identified swing states, counties and zip codes, I am sure, they know which houses within those zip codes are "swing homes" and in that swing home lives that final frontier of glorious indecision the aforementioned "swing voter". Despite 3 debates, two party conventions and one billions dollars in advertising campaigns, swing voters have not made up their minds. I say bravo, but we are not going to McDonalds together anytime time soon (the menu is too complex and I can't afford the cost involved in trying to get them to decide) here lies the true beauty of communism, it is either Lenin or after he dies Stalin, one party, one leader, and one choice. All not in support will be eliminated, their images and deeds erased from all the books, pictures and records. Now that is "gangsta" but thank God not true in this country. I know that the right to choose can sometimes be overstated, I mean, really, what is difference between the clogged arteries and heart attack that I will get from smoking a Marlboro Light and the one that I get from eating a whooper? But at least I get to decide which set of shareholders will share the blame for my failing health, while meeting their revenue targets. Let me be clear here, it is important to take as much time as you need to make up your mind when choosing your next pair of sneakers, if you make the wrong decision you will be stuck with sorry kicks for the whole summer and that will be a tragedy. So all you swing voters out there, please take your time and make right decision, if the time comes and you are still not sure, do what I do, flip a coin. As a last word here is a poem of unknown origin, from an author that never published.

“I don't want to talk
Wait, I feel like a chat.

I need to get up
But I want to lie down.


T-shirt or jumper?
I've change my mind I'll wear a shirt.

I want to stand up
No, I want to sit there
I'm even indecisive about the chair.

I've got myself in to a state
My life is ruled by a split decision.”

Say What!

A "lack of security" resulted in the loss of 377 tons of high explosives- (AP) How the &*%k, do you lose 377 tons of anything? It would take an F-250 60 trips to haul the whole thing away. I thought the whole idea of going to Iraq was to prevent this $#^t, from falling into the wrong hands, One guess who has the missing explosives? I cannot believe that we have armed these guys with enough bang bang to hold the July 4th fireworks display until the year 2010. I am hot, the level of incompetence with which we have run this whole caper…., right from the start, the reasoning behind the show was dubious at best, with "fill in" logic and "bend to fit" evidence. The whole premise for the war, was that the world without Sadam, was a better place. I am not so sure anymore, that sadistic heel might have been a nuisance, but he sure was funny. Dick on the other hand, has no sense of humor and he is almost as nutty as the former number one guy in Iraq. Here are a few quotes from the former Iraqi information minister "Baghdad Bob" made during the war even as Baghdad was falling to Allied forces, see if they remind you of anything presently going on with regards to the situation in the country and Iraq.

"Rumsfeld, he needs to be hit on the head." Amen

"I have detailed information about the situation...which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day." Republicans on Democrats

"I blame Al-Jazeera." Conservatives about CNN

"Those are not Iraqis at all. Where did they bring them from?" People filing for unemployment?

"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!" self explanatory

"They are becoming hysterical. This is the result of frustration." Kerry/Edwards Campaign

Search for the truth. I tell you things and I always ask you to verify what I say." Just don't ask for proof

"The United Nations...it is all their fault." Current situation in Iraq

Once again, I blame al-Jazeera. Please, make sure of what you say and do not play such a role." The faithfuls at Fox network

"Nobody came here. Those America losers, I think their repeated frequent lies are bringing them down very rapidly…. Baghdad is secure, is safe." Just don't go out too often or stand too close to the windows.

In search of greater meaning

I am bored, interesting position to be in considering that I have not achieved anything world changing in life. You would think that with a life resume as thin as mine, that I would be busting with zeal to go out and conquer (well you can think it, but you better not mention it). The position I find myself in is an unusual one, I am young (relatively speaking of course), employed (definitely not a career job), good looking (in a chunky kind of way), healthy ( if any smoker can be considered healthy), and outgoing (sometimes). The problem would seem to be that a general dissatisfaction with the state of my affairs has led to a compounding sense of continuing malaise that manifests itself’ as well “boredom”. On the one hand you could blame a “lack of imagination” as the main reason my I cannot maximize my time to get the most out of life or you could state quite obviously that a refusal to accept things for what they are, a belief that somewhere, somehow, that i can do enough to turn my life into a rainbow of self fulfilling activities that would satisfy that hunger for something greater is leading me down a road whose various forks lead to unhappiness or at the very least despair. I fear that in the end I would look back on my life and it would not measure up to the dreams I had for it as a child. The hope and sense of adventure that is manifest in every child, if that could be bottled and sold to adults, we would all be the better for it. Much too often we die mentally before the body finally gives up. But all the same I think I have a simple solution to my problem, I will make plans and carry them out, the sense of achievement, the planning and anticipation that should keep me going even if the goal is as insignificant as learning how to snowboard. The problem I find, is not a lack of activity, but a lack of challenge. The push to overcome any obstacle is a motivation for the mind, the body and the soul. As long as I remember to free my mind, I know that the rest will surely follow.

Clutter your mind, it helps.

It’s Wednesday, that means that you survived Monday, the change in circumstances in one's life can be day to day or if you are a politician poll to poll. How many litters in a barrel, I wonder? I guess that, (of course) would depend on the size of the barrel, a barrel of crude oil now costs $54.00, with gas at $2.00 a gallon. Every time I fill up my tank I complain, yet I paid $2.09 for 24 ounces of beer and believed it was cheap. “Most oil-producing nations are also rife with corruption” this is from today’s news on yahoo, when crude oil production is the only viable industry in an economy, I guess it is kind of hard to stay clean, literally. (Reuters) – “J.P. Morgan Chase Profit Falls 13 Percent-the No. 2 U.S. bank, reported quarterly net income of $1.42 billion”. Hmm......Funny, I can think of a few countries that would be glad to make that much in a year. Makes you think doesn’t it, here is a bank that charges you $12.50 per month to hold your money, $1.50 for withdrawing your money and $1.00 for writing a check against the balance in your account, yet they declare a billions dollars net income! in a down quarter, no less!
Remember, let you mind wonder, there are places in your thoughts that you have not visited YET. That said, visit the link below.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/uclickcomics/cx_crbc_uc/latest

Truth and consequences

"The truth will set you free" somebody said that. I wonder who and why, for the true has never set anybody free, the fact is that “the truth” could cost you your freedom. If ever you feel the need to confess, without due prompting from the cops, your spouse or the boss (“due prompting” in this case could be defined as the threat of drastic consequences) remember the problems you will create might be more than the one (not ones) that you solve. The primary aim of a confessional is selfish, you want to purge your soul of guilt (Imagine how free you would be from your wife after you confess you wished you had married her sister). Now that we have covered the reason Bush cannot or will not admit to the problems In Iraq. I find it strange that everyday the polls have Bush up by 7 points and the next day tied with Kerry. Either they are polling Republicans on the days in-between or something else is making 5% of the electorate flip-flop every other day. Day one, welcome to my daily blog. Like most things American it would flow freely but not be free. Since I started watching politicians actively , I find I have picked up a few important survival habits, my boss asked me for a report the other day, I had not written the report but I promptly blamed the guy that had the job before me for not writing a prior report while he worked here and informed my boss that if he was thinking of hiring a new guy that he should consider that statistics show that new guys aren’t any good at report writing either. I have also learned that the most important part of your job is the “job interview” because if you don’t promise enough and fail to get the job, how will you then get the opportunity to break those promises? Remember, Regardless of the size of the holes in your resume, it is important to always point out the reason why hiring someone else would be a big mistake. That’s it for today, catch you on the next page.